Teddy's Birth

Teddy was born at 4:21 am, 7 pounds 13 ounces, 20 inches long. 

The FULL story follows. Caution. You probably only want to read this if you are a girl and about to have a baby or have had one.

I went to the hospital with a spontaneous labor (my water didn't break) and I got an epidural. My story and advice--what I wish I had done or not done is included.

Contractions, When to go to the Hospital, Epidural
Contractions aren't real or strong enough to go to the hospital until they are averaging 5 minutes apart and you can feel it in your back and they are painful enough that you would struggle to walk or talk through them. You might as well just walk around until they get to that point. Walking helps the contractions/labor progress. Or I guess you can do that in the hospital, but some hospitals will send you back home to do that anyway. I went into the hospital before they were really painful enough because I'm clueless, I needed an antibiotic during labor for Group Strep B, and I wanted someone to confirm that I was really finally in labor (2 days past my due date). If you want an epidural, then go to the hospital a little before you can't stand the pain anymore so there is time to get registered and set up in Labor and Delivery and get the drugs started. I wasn't planning on an epidural, but when the contractions started hurting badly at around 8 pm, I asked them for it. I could still tell when I was having a contraction because my stomach would tighten, but I couldn't feel the pain with them. I say you should wait until the contractions are averaging 5 minutes apart because I wasn't consistently 5 minutes apart and that is normal. When I got to the hospital, sometimes the contractions were 4 minutes apart and sometimes 7 minutes. Some were painful and some didn't hurt at all. But that could be different for everyone.

When you go to the hospital, they set you up with an IV drip for saline and in my case, penicillin. They also put two monitors on your stomach--one that monitors the contracting of your stomach so you can count the contractions time-wise and intensity-wise. The other monitor is baby's heartbeat. It is very fun (especially for Dad) to watch the contractions and the heartbeat on the monitors. My hubbie liked to warn me that one was coming and come hold my hand during them.
I was 90% effaced and dilated to 2 cm when I arrived at the hospital at 4pm but by 8pm was only dilated to 3 cm. My IV bugged me--it burned a little all the time.

My baby's heart rate dropped slightly during contractions which led the nurse to believe that the cord was around baby's neck. They put me on oxygen. I hated that mask. I badly needed a mint by that point too. :(

I was dilating very slowly, which is why they had me walk around the hospital for an hour and considered sending me home to do more of the labor at home. My water never broke naturally but luckily my doctor was willing to come in and break it--just stick a hook up there. But I didn't feel that at all because of the epidural. Labor quickens after the water breaks--I was dilating at a faster rate after that. I was dilated to 4cm by 10pm and was dilated to 10 cm by 2am.

The epidural medicine works best if you alternate which side you lay on about every 1-2 hours and they gave me a button to push to give myself an extra dose when I wanted to. After a few hours though, I couldn't even feel my feet enough to push up on them to rotate sides. It's weird. Just try not to lay on your back too long because the epidural tube will then bother you.

Labor and Delivery
The nurse didn't want me to start pushing until we let me be at 10cm dilated for an hour. But by 2:30, I was pressing my button for more epidural and in painful contractions. I couldn't stand it anymore so the nurse came and started me pushing at 2:45am. The nurse was setting things up around the room for the next hour and my hubbie just had me push. He would watch my monitor for when I was about to have a contraction and then help me put my feet up and push. My feet were in the stirrups and I would push for 10 seconds 3 times during each contraction. K so this surprised me because pushing felt super good. Maybe the epidural kicked in more, but I think most of it was that your body WANTS to push that baby out, so there isn't pain anymore. Pushing is basically holding your breath. I tried to visualize pushing the baby down my body to kind of get the right pushing. I was out of breath a bit after the 3 pushes and it gets exhausting after an hour of this. It helped that My hubbie pushed against my feet, held my hand, and told me how good I was doing. I really liked those three things.

When they told me that they could see his hair and that during pushes they could see his head bulge my vaginal area, I had them bring the mirror over so I could see. This may sound gross or weird, but it helped me to be able to see that I was making progress. I could see his hair! That was cool. The gross part is that you can see you anus too and little turds get pushed out. The nurse would just come over and change the pad under my butt a few times. I had to not look sometimes because that part was kind of gross to watch. Don't worry-it doesn't smell and it doesn't touch the baby. When the doc came, she cleaned the area and the soap stuff stays there so I didn't have to see that anymore. 

My perineum didn't stretch so after another half hour of relentless pushing, the doc gave me an episiotomy (cut) and then in one more push, the head was out and then she had me pause to unwrap the cord around baby's neck and then in one more push, the rest of his body was out.

I told doc to clean baby up before I wanted to hold him. Hubbie cut the cord after Doc clamped it. The nurses check his breathing and stuff at that point. The thing is, I was really exhausted and at this point in awe that it is really over and I had a feeling like, "is this really mine?" So I wanted to be able to hold him and bond with him and keep him and fall in love with him and that didn't happen right away. His head was shaped funny from the birth and he was pinking up. I did do skin to skin contact with him and tried breastfeeding right away (but this is about an hour after his birth now). See, I had to get stitched up and then there is the afterbirth.

K make sure you press your epidural button again at the end because after birth was the most painful part! I called my husband back over to hold my hand because it was way more than I could take alone. My placenta didn't come out easy though. And then the doc and nurses like to just come over without warning and push on my stomach to help the uterus contract and that is super painful! Ask them to give you a warning before doing that! 

Nurses and Healing and What to Bring
No one has any respect for your privacy, by the way. You are expected to show your vagina to everyone and your breasts to everyone when you breastfeed. You basically get naked to go to the bathroom and the nurses have to help you with that the first time. Try to do that by yourself from then on if you want some privacy, but make sure you ask for an ice pack each time for the first 24 hours--it feels really good and helps the swelling go down. They also give you some TUCKS pads and a spray that are both wonderful down there--so use them.

The bleeding lessens after a few days. I passed one big clot when I got home. A week later, I am down to normal pads and only minor discomfort. I only used motrin and now ibuprofen for discomfort and pain. They can prescribe pain killers. They will give you a stool softener--it is glorious!

Don't overdo it. A trip to walmart is great for some walking and fresh air and a break from baby and breastfeeding, but it can also leave you exhausted. Hopefully you can take a nap and rest afterward. I get headaches and feel achy in various places at times. But I also feel pretty much normal.

What I actually used at the hospital:

• I showered a few times, so soap and shampoo. They have soap in the shower and towels though. 
• Toothbrush and toothpaste.
• ipod and earphones--I listened to music during delivery.
• I didn't want to wear the hospital gown anymore, so a few shirts and my nursing bra were good to have--especially for when visitors come. It may be more than it's worth though to start playing with your nursing bra and you may prefer to just keep in the gown. I didn't wear shorts though--you could bleed all over them anyway. You will still need maternity clothes though--loose shorts and shirts. A week later, I am finally 30 pounds down and in regular clothes again, albeit they are still a bit tight.
• LANOLIN!!!
• Hemorrhoid cream.
• Normal purse stuff--lotion, chap stick, whatever.
• Make-up and bathroom stuff if you're like that and want to look decent for visitors.
• Movies, Book on tape, cards, etc. for stuff you want to do--I was always too tired to read though.
• I brought in my boppy pillow and then didn't like using it, but maybe you want to.
• Diaper bag packed--but again, you don't need it because the hospital gives you diapers and wipes and blankets and shirts and snot sucker and pacifier for baby.
• The hospital will also give you maxi pads, but you may want your own. 
• You will need clothes to leave in.
• Hubbie will need snacks and food--the hospital doesn't give him anything except one meal.

Breastfeeding
Ask the nurses to get the lactation specialist to come by as soon as you can. She basically told me the opposite of what the nurses had told me. Baby had struggled to eat for a few hours until I finally was able to meet with the specialist. Here's what she told me:

• Change the diaper first.
• Burp baby. If he is ready to eat, he will bring his fists close to his mouth and bob his head around. 
• Baby will find the nipple on his own. Don't force him. Don't hold his head. Hold his neck.
• Drinking position is the head inclined a bit--make sure baby is in a position where the neck is supported such that his head is inclined.
• Position baby so that their cheek is on your breast--let baby find the nipple. 
• Baby should lead with his chin and grab the bottom of the areola and the nipple. The whole areola should not be in his mouth.  (By the way, now I sometimes have to kind of force/push my baby's head onto the nipple though because otherwise he bobs around for a long time and gets frustrated that he can't find it.) 
• Baby will eat every 2-5 hours said the specialist. That may mean that baby will eat only from one side and then an hour later want the other side. It may mean that they sleep for a few hours and don't eat for 4 hours. All normal. 
• Burp baby after each side and try to offer each side to baby for each feeding. In reality, the first few days of breastfeeding when it was only colostrum, baby usually only ate one side at a time.
• Stroke baby's back or check during feeding to keep baby actively sucking.
• Baby should almost look like they can't breathe if they are in the right position. Their nose should be right in your breast. You should be able to hear them breathe still though through their nose. Or just watch their face so they don't turn purple if you are worried about it. Baby will move their head if they can't breathe. Don't maneuver or pull your breast during feeding. You don't need to shape your breast into baby's mouth or anything.
• Never break the latch. Let baby nurse until he is done. If you do need to break the latch, you have to try to get your finger in there.

Let me tell you though--it makes a huge difference to properly prepare baby and wait until they are ready to eat. My baby goes right to work if he is ready. If he isn't ready to drink, then it is frustrating for both of us.

I got blisters on my nipples and the initial latch hurts like the dickens. That still hasn't stopped. Once he gets going though, the sucking doesn't hurt so bad. I guess it's important not to give up though on breastfeeding. Just keep the lanolin cream out and apply it after every feeding. You will be able to tell when baby has a good latch though.

When your milk comes in, well...my breasts doubled in size, I swear. And my breasts hurt so bad! I was leaking everywhere too, so have breast pads ready. (I sewed my own.) I just slept at night with a wash cloth in my garment top. I think this was day 4. Baby had a really hard time eating that day--I think because all of a sudden, a different substance was coming out, it was a different flow, and my breasts were so hard! Massage your breasts--especially by your armpit--that helped me feel a bit better. But that all lasted about 24 hours and then everything was back to normal.

Baby
Make sure you count accurately and keep track of all diaper changes. We ended up waiting around a long time to be discharged just for baby to pee--and it might have been that we just missed counting a pee diaper sometime.

Don't swaddle baby too tight in blankets so that their temperature regulates well.

Have skin to skin time once and a while still.

The nurses can take your baby to the nursery--but the baby will just be in there and there are a few nurses to watch them. But I don't think they hold them or anything. They will give them a pacifier if you say it's okay, but it's also not good to introduce a pacifier until baby learns how to nurse. When I was in the nursery later, a baby was crying and no one did anything about it. Nurses are happy to change diapers for you though and give them a shirt to wear and wrap them for you. There are separate nurses for mother and separate nurses for the nursery. I didn't want my baby taken away from me--I missed him if he was gone. I just had him sleep with me so I could hold him lots and he slept well that way. I was lucky though and he slept really well. If you haven't gotten any sleep, it's not a terrible idea to have the nurses watch your baby for a few hours so you can sleep and then they can bring baby back to you at an appointed time.

I love my pediatrician already: Richard Later in the Physicians Plaza right next to the provo hospital. The pediatrician will come check out baby once or twice in the nursery.

Communicate with hubbie really well on how you want to do things: 'your turn, my turn' or when you should be getting up in the night and stuff. Let hubbie know when you need a break. I mean who just wants to be a set of boobs and that's it?

I had my baby sleep with us in our bed for the first few nights--baby sleeps better and deeper, so so do you. :) I got up and went to the nursery to feed him though and ended up sleeping in my recliner with baby. At first I thought I should set an alarm and wake up every 3 hours to feed him, but you just have to feed him when he's hungry. My baby goes like 4 hours between feedings at night. Changing diapers or clothes wakes baby up so that they will feed better. Also, giving baby a bath wears them out so they will get a good feeding in and you can put them down for a few hours. Last night baby slept in his crib most of the night. But that's my baby and yours could be completely different. But I think because I had my baby sleep with me at night in the hospital, he had a serene night and so is sleeping through the night better than most babies would.

Hopefully this isn't TMI!